‘We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with’.– Jim Rohn
Read this quote again to yourself. Is that applicable also when we are developing business relations with others? It seems that the answer is positive. This quote is one of the most powerful ones in developing relationship and expanding your global network. You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Others around yourself determine how you think, how you act, and ultimately how successful you will be.
In other words, when it comes to relationships, our way of thinking, our self-esteem, and our decisions are affected and greatly influenced — whether we like it or not — by those closest to us. I know what you are saying – I control myself and not being influenced very easily. Great, but research has shown that we’re more affected by our environment than we think.
So, if all that counts if you want to be successful in life is the people you surround yourself with, the first question you need to ask yourself is – who are the people you spend time with? It is indeed ideal to be closely surrounded by positive, supportive people who want you to succeed, but it is not always the case. Many times your get also critical people around you, but it’s also necessary. Moreover, the more successful you become, the more criticism you’ll face.
It’s a notion so simple, yet so difficult to get started with in order to become a better connector. Let me suggest you to find it out by doing the following exercise:
- First, ask yourself the question – who are the 5 people in your life that you spend time with? How many of the 24 hours a day are spent with which people? Write down those names of these 5 people. I assume amongst these people will be your family members, friends, colleagues etc. (It’s ok if they are less than 5.)
- Next, ask yourself this: Who are they? Try to write down to yourself or each person few sentences on what do they do with their lives? How ambitious are they, how successful have they been, how happy, optimistic, and enthusiastic are they?
You should evaluate carefully if those people will really be those that will help you get to the next level you want to get to. Do they push you forward when you come to them with new ideas, no matter what? Or do they only criticize you and tell you that what you have in mind won’t work? Will they support you with your ideas?
- You need to make a choice of who in your list you want to continue spending time with. Feel comfortable and be completely open with your thoughts, since you only share them with yourself. Don’t be afraid if only few or none amongst your 5 people today meet the standard of excellence you want to set for yourself.
- Start changing your life. Keep going, but decrease the time you spend, and increase the amount of time you keep looking for people that you want to enter into your life and have them as one of your 5 closest people.
Remember, you deserve to be the best of yourself. Every delay in doing the exercise and surrounding yourself with the right people, will only directly and indirectly harm you.
It took me personally a while to understand, practice and implement this concept. Nowadays, I am proudly surround myself and spend time with only few selected people. They all have a focus and determination that I admire and I cling onto their enthusiasm, try to learn from their skillset as much as challenged myself. It is pushing me higher and onto the next level every day.
Whether you want it or not, I know now that this is how it works. The people you spend the most time with make you. You are their average. How true is this concept in your life?