I dedicated a lot of my writing and trainings to share with you how to build your network and relationship for the long run by using authentic attention™. But do you know how to tap into your network for help using the same attention tools?
We all have a network of people who stand ready to help us, if only we will ask. You may not be in touch with them all the time. You may not even realize how many people out of your network are out there ready to lend a hand. But they are there.
I am sure you understand the importance of your ability to ask help from people in your network, people you build authentic relationship with. After all, if you can’t get the help you need for yourself or for others from the people you know, where will you get it?
First question you need to ask yourself – do you dare to ask for help from your contacts? Or fear holds you back – fear of rejection, inferior feelings, and fear of lost? Remember – giving help to other people is a pure attention giving. It is very natural to human being to give help to each other; especially to those people we have a special relationship with – for example, our small children.
On the one hand, if someone isn’t able to help, it can cause negative feeling for both sides. On the other hand, if you ask for help from your relationship, you actually give them a unique opportunity to give you their attention. In other words, asking for help can only strengthen relationship between people. Asking for help is real attentive action that needs to take into account how the other person feels.
How can you tend your network so it is more ready to help when you need it? When you need a hand, what are the elementary keys to asking effectively for help? Once you get the help you need, how do you follow up?
I recommend you to consider the following five things before asking for help from your network:
1. Build it before you need it
You need to nurture your network well before you are able to call on that network for help later. Look for ways to help the people in the network. For example, try to find one thing to do for 3 people in your network every week. Another possibility is introducing two people from your network to each other and share with them why you have decided to introduce them to each other. Another important thing to do is to keep your network up-to-date by sending them a regular updates.
2. Make it easy to the other person
Try to think on behalf of the other person and ask for something easy that he will be willing to help you. Ask from the other person to share insights and experiences, and how did he do specific things. This help takes a little bit of efforts and most probably the other person will be happy to help. Try also to keep it for a short term, to avoid spending a lot of time to the other person. Prepare your request thoughtfully. Figure out specifically what help you need. Do whatever research you can to minimize the time your contacts will need to spend helping you.
3. Show understanding toward the other person
To avoid hurting your relationship with the other person, you need to show all the time understanding to the other person. I suggest you to always say to the other person, that you asking for his/her help but if he/she is not able to help, you will completely understand.
Try to use friendly phrases while asking for help from the other person. Avoid requesting in a language that does not give much option to the other person and will put him/her under pressure.
4. Your request for help should be appropriate to the relationship
Make sure you ask for a specific level for help from the right person in your network. Try to match, as much as you can, your request to the specific relation. I trust you understand that you can’t ask the same level of help from your close relationships as from a person you just met. Please remember that not paying attention to this advice and following it may harm your personal brand and your ability to strengthen the relationship with this person for the long run. Moreover, you will damage your authenticity.
5. Know to appreciate any help you get from your relations
It probably obvious but I find it important to mention it – make sure to thank personally those who offer you help out of your network. That will definitely add to your good reputation within your network.
Furthermore, make sure to continue and update the people who offered you help, if you follow their suggestions and what was the outcome. It is very important to show your relation that you followed their advice and took action. It will definitely strength the trust between you two and will most likely get you more help in the future from the same relation.
Follow the above suggestions and most likely you will get the support and help you are looking for. Your ability to give attention to other people by asking for their help will get you advanced in your life and let you get the right help every time you will need it. The request for help from the right person in the right time is one of the most important elements of attentional networking. Learn it, use it and grow with it!
Are you interested to learn how I can help you maximize your results and use people’s name to build relationship? Contact me to discuss tailored ideas for your specific needs!